I Can't Sleep
by MacKenzie Rabb
Summary: Third and final companion piece in my 'Sleep Series'. This follows "Only When I Sleep" and "Even When I'm Sleeping". Harm and Mac finally find a solution to their insomnia.


Title: I Can't Sleep  
  
Author: MacKenzie Rabb  
  
Feedback: mackenzie_rabb@yahoo.com if you like it. If not, thanks for reading anyway,   
and please hit 'delete'. :)  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Classification: Harm/Mac vignette; Romance (Harm/Mac)  
  
Spoilers: Goodbyes, sort of.  
  
Disclaimer: JAG is owned by Bellisarius Productions, Paramount, and CBS, who've   
managed to screw it up lately. Could I have it long enough to fix what they've broken?   
Guess not.  
  
Summary: Third and final companion piece in my 'Sleep Series'. This follows "Only When   
I Sleep" and "Even When I'm Sleeping". Harm and Mac finally find a solution to their   
insomnia.  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks to my friend Lizzy constantly on my case about this, I finally   
produced this one, and all in a matter of days! Hope you like it, Lizzy. And this is it, don't   
ask for any more! LOL ;)  
***********************************************************************  
  
I can't sleep for dreaming about you  
When you're gone there's nothing I can do  
But lie awake alone and dream the whole night through  
I can't sleep for dreaming about you  
- "I Can't Sleep" by Martina McBride  
*******************************************  
  
I pick up the incessantly ringing phone, wondering who could be calling at two in the   
morning. Not like it would bother me, I wasn't asleep anyway.  
  
"Hello?" I practically sigh into the phone.  
  
"Hi, Mac," Harm says into my ear.  
  
"Harm, what's wrong?" I say worriedly.  
  
"Nothing really. It's just that I can't sleep."  
***********************************************************************  
  
"Welcome to the club," she says into my ear. It feels so good to hear her voice. She's   
all I've been thinking about all night.  
  
"Harm, it's two in the morning, and I know you never have trouble sleeping," she says   
softly.  
  
"I was thinking about you," I finally work up the nerve to say.   
  
I hope she doesn't hang up on me for saying that. I don't need anything else to add to my   
already lengthy list of problems.  
***********************************************************************  
  
Oh God, did he just say what I thought he did?  
  
"You were, uh, thinking about me?" I ask, trying to make sure that I've heard him correctly.   
This line of questioning could be dangerous though, because I was thinking about him too.  
  
"All night," he confirms. "And the night before that, and the night before that. . . I think   
you get the picture."  
  
I get the picture all right, and I'm not quite sure what to say to him now.  
***********************************************************************  
  
She's awfully quiet on the other end of the line.  
  
"Mac?" I ask, just to make sure she's still there.  
  
"Yeah?" she immediately responds. Was that a tremor I heard in her voice?  
  
"I've been doing a lot of thinking actually," I say, and that is met by silence. "About us," I   
add.  
  
Then I hear a little sigh escape from her.  
***********************************************************************  
  
I swallow hard, and as a shiver runs up my spine I pull the covers up to my neck with one   
hand. He couldn't be saying what I've been hoping for him to say. This is so sudden, out of   
the blue, and totally unlike Harm. But I'm not going to discourage him.  
  
"So what have you been thinking about us?" I encourage.  
  
Somehow it's comforting lying here in the dark listening to his voice. Even if the subject   
may become a little bit unsettling.  
***********************************************************************  
  
"That I've made a lot of mistakes in the past two years, and that if I hadn't maybe things   
would be different. Maybe you and I would be different," I say.  
  
"Do you know how many times I've thought exactly the same thing?" she asks, no   
accusation in her voice.  
  
"I bet you have. And it's all my fault. Mac- Sarah, is there any way I could ever convince   
you to forgive me? Anything I could do to make it up to you? Because I can't live like this   
anymore." I pause to let that sink in. "I don't think I can live without you anymore."  
***********************************************************************  
  
Well, he certainly knows a thing or two about pillow talk.  
  
"Harm, I- I don't know. I think you just made it up to me by saying that." Maybe I'm   
letting him off too easily, but far be it from me to screw up what could turn out to be   
the best thing in my life. He's finally spilling, and I can't let my pride get in the way.   
Besides, it's not like I haven't done my part to contribute to this awful mess.  
  
"You're forgiven, but there's something that I wish you'd forgive me for."  
***********************************************************************  
  
"Like what?" I ask her. She didn't run away from home like a child to be a pilot.  
  
"For not trying harder," she says, and I can hear a smile in her voice.  
  
"You're the only one that did try, so there's nothing to forgive."  
  
"I miss you," she murmurs in a voice so low that I don't know if she even meant to   
say it out loud.  
  
"I miss you too. I've missed you for a very long time."  
***********************************************************************  
  
I suddenly wish that the miles between us didn't exist, because this phone's just not enough.   
But I can't wait a minute more to tell him the one and only thing I held back on that ferry that   
night. And whether or not he reciprocates, I have to tell him before it kills me.  
  
"Harm, I love you," I finally say, trying desperately to keep the pent up pain out of my voice.  
  
That's the one thing I could never say to any man since I met Harm. Not to Dalton and   
not to Mic. Harm was always between me and them.  
***********************************************************************  
  
"I love you too, Sarah," I say without a moment's hesitation.  
  
I never said that to Annie, Jordan, or Renee, because it would've been a lie. Mac's had   
my heart since the day I met her, and I've been a fool to waste all this time pretending it   
wasn't true.  
  
"I'm sorry. Sorry for not telling you before, for making you put up with all my setbacks   
and lame excuses.  
  
I've been beating myself up over this for two years, and you should see the bruises, Sarah."  
***********************************************************************  
  
"You should've just said something, Harm. It was as simple as that. I was ready, I've   
*been* ready for quite some time. If you had just told me you weren't quite ready, I   
would've waited. Not forever, but definitely longer than I did. I'm not saying you're   
not going to have to earn me, Rabb, but we could try to make a start."  
  
"Really?" he asks, seemingly amazed that I'd offer.  
  
"Really," I laugh.  
  
"How about we make our first date for breakfast in the morning? I can't wait to see you."  
***********************************************************************  
  
"Sure," Mac answers. "Is about eight good for you?"  
  
"It's perfect," I reply. I have a feeling she's about to say goodbye.  
  
"I think we both better try to get some sleep," she says.  
  
"Okay," I say reluctantly. But I suddenly have something else in mind.  
  
"See you in the morning," she says.  
  
"See you. I love you, Sarah," I say. It feels so good to be able to say that now.  
  
"Love you too, Harm," she says just before she hangs up.  
***********************************************************************  
  
I roll over to the bedside table to hang up the phone.  
  
Harm made the next move. Unbelievable. I'll never be able to sleep now, thinking about   
that.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, I hear a knock on my door. I get up and look through the peephole,   
only to find Harm standing there in a blue t-shirt and jeans.  
  
I open the door. "Harm, what are you doing here?" I laugh.  
***********************************************************************  
  
Well, at least she's not mad at me for showing up here.  
  
"I couldn't wait to see you," I answer. "Can I come in?" I ask, with what I hope is a   
disarming grin.  
  
"Yes," she says, and swings the door wide open.  
  
I walk in, and we just stand there for a minute, looking at each other, not sure what to   
do next.  
***********************************************************************  
  
Suddenly, Harm gets that gleam in his eyes. The one he gets when he's about to do   
something he's not sure he should do.  
  
Before I can figure out just what that is, he picks me up in his arms, and a little gasp   
escapes me.  
  
"Harm. . ." I start, but he's already making his way to my bedroom. "Harm, what are you   
doing?" I demand, but I'm not angry, just a little surprised.  
  
"I think I just thought of a solution to our sleeping problems," he answers.  
***********************************************************************  
  
Mac looks at me, eyes wide, as I set her down on the bed. Wordlessly, she watches   
as I kick off my shoes, climb into the bed, and crawl beneath the covers.  
  
I smile, and wrapping my arms around her waist, pull her beside me, and lay back,   
drawing her into my arms.  
  
She doesn't resist. In fact, she throws one arm across my stomach and snuggles   
into my shoulder. She could've slugged me by now, but she hasn't.  
***********************************************************************  
  
My daring Harmon Rabb. It sure takes him long enough, but once you get him started   
he goes all the way.  
  
"So this is your solution, huh?" I ask as I make myself comfortable in his arms.  
  
"Yep," he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice.  
  
"Better than sleeping pills," I murmur, suddenly becoming drowsy.  
  
I always wondered what it would feel like to sleep in his arms. Those strong arms,   
those broad shoulders, they always looked so inviting. Turns out I was right about that.  
  
I sigh, snuggling closer, and close my eyes.  
***********************************************************************  
  
I look down at Mac and realize she's asleep. So that's all it took to cure my insomniac   
Marine. If I'd known, I would have tried this sooner.  
  
I smile, wrapping my arms tighter around her sleeping form, and close my eyes. We've   
finally made it to this place, and it feels better than I could've ever imagined.  
  
Something tells me our sleepless nights are over.  
  
The End  



End file.
